Be forewarned: I am having an ‘Oscar the GROUCH’ Day! (Just between us, Oscar was my favorite Seseme Street character!)
So, we are reducing the strength of my chemo, which starts back Monday. And as long as I do chemo, painful stomach shots are my new “friend!!!!” ☹️
The good news, is no changes to my tumors according to today’s CT scan. No reductions, but no growths. All is okay for the moment. As far as tumors go, mine are supposed to swell then shrink and die from the chemo embolism procedures.
I was so mad that I can’t do full strength chemo. I left there crying (and I am not typically a cryer) because I was so mad! But physically, right now, I can’t. I don’t want a return “vacation” to the hospital! So I am sulking. I will have a better perspective tomorrow, but today, I am MAD about it all! I am ready to learn what God would have me to learn on this cancer journey, because I am TIRED of “going around this mountain!” And I know why it took the Israelites 40 years to get to the Promised Land. I get the similarities! And yes, I am grumbling today! I will be more pleasant tomorrow! I promise!
And the stomach shots are a permanent thing as long as I take chemo. YAY😦! I usually take these shots for two weeks after a DVT blood clot and/or pulmonary embolisms, including a week of “vacation” at the hospital! And yes, I am SUPREMELY grateful that today’s CT did not show any clots in my lungs!!! But because my current blood clots are considered a “warfran (blood thinner medicine) fail,” the shots are the best solution to keep me out of danger as much as possible. I am among a very SMALL percentage of people who get blood clots as a chemo side effect. YAY😦! The thing is, these shots are PRICY! A two week supply was $110 when I left the hospital. The strength is different, and today, we picked up a five-day supply for $66.65! So crazy!!!! And they are VERY painful! AND I have to do it twice a day!!! UGH!!!! Did I mention they are PAINFUL!
After we left the oncologist’s office and I gained a little composure, we stopped for gas before leaving Tupelo. Pepper asked if I wanted a snack or a drink. I said I want “emotional meltdown chocolate!” I gave him leeway to define that to the best of his ability. He comes back with a Big Kat Kit Kat! I love him!
But #GODISGOOD, regardless of the news, the doctor, or how all this is “not working on my schedule!!!! WAIT…is it possible that I am supposed to learn it is about God’s schedule and not mine? I hate that lesson!!!!
In addition to patience and relying on God’s divine timing, I try to remember to be grateful for all things (even on grouchy days) and I am so RICHLY BLESSED! #GODISMOSTDEFINITELYGOOD