Going crazy?😜

#Chemo day! No new meds, just not taking that one I was having a reaction to, so a shorter day on #ChemoMonday! So, some good news!  We go Thursday to to a variety of tests and talk more about #chemoembolisms. Two more #chemoembos to go! This should kill those #tumors! I am so ready to get that going! We both deeply appreciate all of y’all’s prayers. I means more to us than you will ever know! Much love! #Godisgood

And when he is not sleeping in the chemo room with me, Pepper is still singing and dancing! Lord help us all! I thought now that #HeeHaw is off the air, the singing would slow down, but he proves to me daily that he doesn’t need that inspiration! 😜 Remind me again of the signs that you might be going crazy?

#ihatecancer, #ihatecancer💔, #cancer, #cancercare

It is an ‘OSCAR THE GROUCH’ day

Be forewarned: I am having an ‘Oscar the GROUCH’ Day! (Just between us, Oscar was my favorite Seseme Street character!)

So, we are reducing the strength of my chemo, which starts back Monday. And as long as I do chemo, painful stomach shots are my new “friend!!!!” ☹️

The good news, is no changes to my tumors according to today’s CT scan. No reductions, but no growths. All is okay for the moment. As far as tumors go, mine are supposed to swell then shrink and die from the chemo embolism procedures.

I was so mad that I can’t do full strength chemo. I left there crying (and I am not typically a cryer) because I was so mad! But physically, right now, I can’t. I don’t want a return “vacation” to the hospital! So I am sulking. I will have a better perspective tomorrow, but today, I am MAD about it all! I am ready to learn what God would have me to learn on this cancer journey, because I am TIRED of “going around this mountain!” And I know why it took the Israelites 40 years to get to the Promised Land. I get the similarities! And yes, I am grumbling today! I will be more pleasant tomorrow! I promise!

And the stomach shots are a permanent thing as long as I take chemo. YAY😦! I usually take these shots for two weeks after a DVT blood clot and/or pulmonary embolisms, including a week of “vacation” at the hospital! And yes, I am SUPREMELY grateful that today’s CT did not show any clots in my lungs!!! But because my current blood clots are considered a “warfran (blood thinner medicine) fail,” the shots are the best solution to keep me out of danger as much as possible. I am among a very SMALL percentage of people who get blood clots as a chemo side effect. YAY😦! The thing is, these shots are PRICY! A two week supply was $110 when I left the hospital. The strength is different, and today, we picked up a five-day supply for $66.65! So crazy!!!! And they are VERY painful! AND I have to do it twice a day!!! UGH!!!! Did I mention they are PAINFUL!

After we left the oncologist’s office and I gained a little composure, we stopped for gas before leaving Tupelo. Pepper asked if I wanted a snack or a drink. I said I want “emotional meltdown chocolate!” I gave him leeway to define that to the best of his ability. He comes back with a Big Kat Kit Kat! I love him!

But #GODISGOOD, regardless of the news, the doctor, or how all this is “not working on my schedule!!!! WAIT…is it possible that I am supposed to learn it is about God’s schedule and not mine? I hate that lesson!!!!

In addition to patience and relying on God’s divine timing, I try to remember to be grateful for all things (even on grouchy days) and I am so RICHLY BLESSED! #GODISMOSTDEFINITELYGOOD

Getting a little better, but sleepy

I am feeling better, but all I have done since coming home is sleep!

Stomach shots for the blood clots is NOT fun, but I am so happy to be home!

Next week, I have another chemo embolism procedure on the left lobe of my liver, then we will start working on the right lobe. It is gonna be a rough couple of months, but I am expecting good things! #GODISGOOD

I have been quarantining for a couple of years now, so, once again, I didn’t not go to family gatherings for Thanksgiving, but I have had some AMAZING food sent my way. Considering what I have had at the hospital, I am LOVING every bite of home cooking!

Pepper is so happy that I am home. Y’all would not BELIEVE the singing and dancing that has been going on around here this week!

Hope y’all had a special Thanksgiving holiday!

Made my day!

My white blood cell counts are improving and Pepper could come by today for a quick visit! He absolutely made my day!

I was deeply asleep when he got here apparently, but when a nurse came in and I looked over, I busted out crying- I was so happy to see him. Then he starts up the entertainment to keep me from crying. But it was happy crying!

We are definitely better together! #GODISGOOD I am so blessed with such an amazing, silly guy! I adore him!

More lessons of cancer

It didn’t take long!

Derek and Jodi May and family were one of many people to visit me in the hospital after my colon resection surgery in November 2015, after radiation and my first round of chemo.

Jodi asked me what God was teaching me through this experience. I have had a little time to think about it, and here’s a few more lessons God is teaching me:

  1. No laughing or crying right after surgery, especially an abdomen surgery! Everything hurts too much!
  2. This journey is not just about me. I am just the one walking it. There are many, many others who are affected by my actions, my attitude and how I handle myself in difficult situations. A lot more people are watching than you realize.
  3. This experience has challenged my personal “ICKY” level and I am still working on not being too easily “grossed out.”
  4. For those of us who would never survive in the medical field, I firmly appreciate those who can handle other people’s “ICK” levels.
  5. Be as kind to medical staff as possible. They deal with a LOT of cranky people.
  6. “God’s got this” is not just a mindset for my cancer journey, but my life’s journey. He cares about the small stuff and the big stuff.
  7. Cancer –all types—is difficult and expensive. Just the daily drive to Starkville and the extra stuff you have to buy at Walmart in isles you never dreamed you would walk down, is pricey and not covered by insurance. When someone says they are taking treatments for cancer, it is an emotional and financial burden.
  8. There are more people going through cancer treatments than I realized. There is a lot of suffering. There is a great need for volunteers in every community to help families in your church and in your community with cancer. Even just committing to prepare a healthy meal once a month can be a big deal for a family. I had so much help, but it is a long road. A little help goes a long way.
  9. And even when you are sick and so weak you can’t do anything physically, pray. Praying for all of the people who are much sicker than you in the chemo room or for those taking care of you at home, gives you that opportunity to do something for others that is personal and special. Prayer is the most important thing you can do for someone. It is the truest expression of love.
  10. Do NOT self-diagnose on the internet. See a doctor! You are not a doctor! The internet does not replace a doctor!
  11. Family is EVERYTHING! God put these people in your life for a reason! My mom made soup day after day week after week. Who else is going to do that kind of thing for you? Just your family.
  12. Marry the right person! You want someone who will take care of you, help you put saran wrap on your port site so you can get a shower and sing and dance to cheer you up, even if it gets on your last nerve! What an incredible blessing to have a spouse that prays for you, helps and entertains you. One that is brave enough to walk through a cancer journey with you as opposed to running the other way in fear. Maybe that should be lesson one!